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April 30, 2006

Revenge

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:12-17

I've been thinking lately about anger, bitterness, hurt, reconciliation, and holding grudges. The Lord led me this week (by coincidence) to this passage twice...and the pastor read the next section ("Husbands, Wives, Children, Fathers, Slaves, and Masters") this morning in church.

Notice the list of attributes we as God's people are called--no, obligated!--to put on with one another. Picture wearing them like clothes, like garments of pure clean white linen:

Just in case we miss any of these attributes, we are instructed to bear with one another and forgive (don't miss that we're given Christ's forgiveness as an example). Then there's the 'overcoat' of love--the varnish that seals the furniture and makes it safe, beautiful, and worthwhile. We're to be peaceful in the way that we live together (how can we tell if we've got peaceful hearts if we become hermits? It's by living in community that we put wheels on these teachings). And then there's the command to be thankful.

Whew.

NOW my temptation is to email this passage to _____, literally and figuratively. (It's ok, just compose your angry, hurt, and vengeful rant in your head and click 'send' in your imagination. It'll stay in your head instead of flying off through cyberspace to hurt _____ back. Sheesh. Here's the cure for that sinful overcorrection:

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.

Galatians 6:1, emphasis mine.

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April 25, 2006

Anger.

Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harms we do, we do to ourselves.

Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

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Ownership/Possessiveness

Parah quoted this in relation to parenting, but I quote it in relation to something else.

The sense of ownership in general is always to be encouraged. The humans are always putting up claims to ownership which sound equally funny in Heaven and in Hell, and we must keep them doing so. Much of the modern resistance to chastity comes from men's belief that they "own" their bodies -- those vast and perilous estates, pulsating with the energy that made the worlds, in which they find themselves without their consent and from which they are ejected at the pleasure of Another!

...We produce this sense of ownership not only by pride but by confusion. We teach them not to notice the different senses of the possessive pronoun -- the finely graded differences that run from "my boots" through "my dog," "my servant," "my wife," "my father," my master," and "my country," to "my God." They can be taught to reduce all these senses to that of "my boots," the "my" of ownership. Even in the nursery a child can be taught to mean by "my Teddy bear," ..."the bear I can pull to pieces if I like."

C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

This is so true! Friends, do not use your words to pierce others. Use them to love one another, all the more so if they are family--or Family. Get it straight in your mind what your priorities are and how those priorities fall short of God's best for us. Repent of those false priorities and start living and behaving according to the right priorities.

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Tuesday's Agenda

Laundry.
(To accomplish this, I have to go to Goodwill and buy an old measuing cup so I can accurately measure bleach for my whites. Too much can degrade the clothes, you know.)
Cleaning.
(Cleaning up the scattered clothes around the bedroom. Cleaning the sink.)
Dinner.
(Soy-sauce-pineapple-juice marinated boneless pork chops grilled on the George, rice, and a veggie.)
Emailing.
(Various folks.)

So off I go to Goodwill. Wish me luck.

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2:03
Back from Goodwill. Found a 1/2 cup measure. No 1/4 cups, but found about 5 1/3 cups. (People, did you all have to keep your 1/4 cups? Why did you love them so much? Why didn't you donate whole measuring-cup sets to Goodwill?)

Have read blogs. Updated here. Posted new post.

Have gotten my detergent, bleach bottle, and quarters rounded up. Will deposit them in the Whites Hamper and walk to the laundry facility here as soon as I've finished updating here.

Ta-ta.

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2:21
Back from the Laundry Facility. I have 20 minutes till I have to go back and put the laundry over. So I'm leaving at 2:41.

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3:15
Just back from the Laundry Facility. I was a couple minutes late getting there, but put the laundry over into a dryer that ate my quarters. I asked the office about it, and they repaid me, and a nice lady (who was reading her New Testament quite publicly) took some of her clothes out early so I could use that dryer.

It's busy over there--I cannot be late getting back to empty my dryer.

I walked all the way back to my apartment and realized I had forgotten my keys, so I trekked back and while walking BACK to my apartment I had a chat with a nice lady walking her dog. I guess I'm getting less timid about striking up conversations with People of Other Races. The real breakthrough will be when I stop categorizing people in my head that way.

I also received a very kind email from the Dude. He's so nice.

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4:05
Back from Laundry Facility with clean, dry whites, only to realize that the specific shirt the Dude asked for is still in the dirty hamper. So back I go.

Before I go, I'm going to clean my sink, as the FlyLady suggests. I'm sick of clutter and by gum I am going to learn!

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4:23
Just made bed and am soaking sink in bleach-water. Am headed back to LF (Laundry Facility) to start second load of clothes. This one is colored, so I don't need to take my bleach or brand-new Bleach Measuring Cup.

Tata.

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4:35
Back from Laundry Facility. 41 minutes left for Sink Soaking, and I will soak the other side tonight when I'm home. 30 minutes left of washing machine.

I've got to leave to pick up The Dude at about 6. And have everything ready for dinner.

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Screed

Screed--n. 1: a long monotonous harangue 2: a long piece of writing 3: an accurately levelled strip of material placed on a wall or floor as guide for the even application of plaster or concrete.

Harangue--n. 1: A long pompous speech, especially one delivered before a gathering. 2: A speech or piece of writing characterized by strong feeling or expression; a tirade.

Please don't ever use your words, tongue, email, or any form of communication to send a screed. It's hurtful. It's confusing. It's bewildering. And it's wrong.

Thank you.

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April 21, 2006

I hate disappointment.

Sometimes it sucks to put myself out there.

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April 20, 2006

The Edge of Deep Heaven

You know when you're outside on a warm summer evening, with a new moon, looking up at the stars and you start thinking about the immenseness of the universe? Sister asked me when we were little if I could imagine what was past the edge of the universe and (of course) I couldn't, but that question has haunted me ever since. Can you imagine a God more vast than the heavens? Of course not! But being able to imagine the question of a God larger than the infinite universe, smaller than the smallest quark-particle, more powerful than the deadliest black hole or the most invasive virus, more gentle than the summeriest breeze on a spring country day...whew. It blows the lid off.

So imagine that feeling of smallness when you're looking up at the clear summer stars, and the feeling of mysterious significance to know that no matter where in the heavens I am, the Lord is there--and though He knows exactly where Jupiter's path is and what's on the other side of the torn space fabric that is a black hole, He values me (me!) enough to become sin for my sake and redeem me.

The New Testament talks about the mystery of the gospel. About the height and width and breadth and depth of that mystery--that infinity was captured into a lowly carpenter from Nazareth, yet He was the Yes! to all of God's promises so that we, his beloved, could suck the marrow out of life. The New Testament also tells us about the love of a husband for his wife, and then says "Well, but this is a mystery."

I feel as if, in the last few weeks, I've been living in the heart of this mystery--or at least at the edge of it, able to look right into it. It's beyond words.

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April 18, 2006

Good news, Bob:

The CD you gave us now works in our stereo. I am about to go George some chicken, steam some veggies, and cut open a bag of salad, and the music will play to me as I prep that.

Right now Jerry Douglas is playing his dobro for us, and the crowd is cheering. Thank you, my friend.

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Today is Tuesday. Here are some notes and thoughts.

I can't seem to come up with cool blog post titles like Bob and Funke can. So here's the obviously titled post for today.

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The little gray cells: I am reading a lot of Agatha Christie (again) and watching a lot (Poirot on A&E/Biography Channel). He's a big fan of logic and intellect in the face of a mystery, a fan of 'using the psychology' to solve a murder. It's fascinating, and I'm enjoying it.

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I'm exercising my own little gray cells. The Dude got me a Sudoku book. Even better: it was in an Easter Basket. Even better: he surprised me with the Easter Basket on Easter Morning. What a guy. I also got a solid chocolate bunny, some Reese's eggs and some (very fresh not stale) Hershey Kisses...and a Jumbo Kiss. What a nice surprise. He's always going around surprising me.

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The website for the culottes is amazing, Heather, and it makes me want to sit down the with denim jumper people behind it and really pick their brain and understand why they insist on culottes being Normative and Modest. I don't wear culottes or long dresses or long skirts (mostly because all my long stuff is still packed away with the summer clothes) but I'm not immodest. I just want to understand why they categorize their clothes as the right ones (and end up, by proxy, categorizing all other clothes, whether we're Malibu Barbies or not, as the wrong clothes).

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Speaking of Barbie, it occurs to me that even Dentist Barbie and Veterinarian Barbie had miniskirts. Well, if I had her legs and butt, so smooth and firm, I'd probably show them off too. I guess it's a good thing I've got human legs.

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Speaking of clothing, The Dude got his first taste of The Joy of Shopping for Swimsuits. Sigh. I hate it myself, because there's always the question, which one should I buy???

Here's the scoop: suit A looks good on my tummy but not my butt. Suit B looks good on my butt but not my front. And Suit C looks good on my tummy and butt--but (as the Dude said) is immodest on the front. So which do you buy? I laughed and said to him "Welcome. Now you understand why we hate swimsuit shopping."

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Why can't we have clothes that have inch measurements and come in every conceivable combination, like the men's clothes do? They get shirts that fit them in the collar AND the sleeve, while we have to be content with sizes that fit well here but not there. They get pants that fit well in the inseam AND the waist, but we have to be content with skirts or dresses that fit well there but not so well here. Grrr.

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I've been really tired lately, but by the time evening rolls around, my energy starts. I want to sleep in and work in the evenings. When I worked a second shift, it was great...my job schedule fit into my natural body schedule. Why can't I take a nap now then do housework till 2 am?

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I'm writing some kickin' essays about (what else?) myself. I'll share sooner or later. They're good.

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I must fold laundry now and have lunch. That will help wakey wake me. My shift today is at 1. The afternoon shift...less boring than the morning shift, but still...tuesdays are slow.

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I've been reading ephesians. some good stuff, people. but blogging (even blogging about scripture) interrupts my responsibility to laundry and to The Department Store. so i sign off...

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April 04, 2006

But the emperor has no clothes!

Hello? Has anybody noticed that today's ridiculous fashions (here's more! and here's how the bubble top looks on. are the juniors not looking in the mirror when they try these on???) are exactly what we giggled about and rolled our eyes at just a few years ago? Welcome back, Eighties.

And while I'm on this topic...what the? ...what the?

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Has anybody noticed that gaucho pants look like the illegitimate love child of capris and culottes? Seriously, don't gauchos look ridiculous?

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While looking for links, I found these. Check out these sites: bloomers, an article bemoaning capris as I bemoan gauchos, and this article about Sesame Street.

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52 things.

1. FIRST NAME? Won't say. If you know me, you know.

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Not my first name, but my middle name was (probably) after one of my dad's cousins. I never asked if that's who I was named after, and he never mentioned it.

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Just now. I came home early from my shift at the Department Store because I injured my wrist, and I'm irritated at myself.

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes. But I always try to make it better, more like architectural writing.

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Ham.

6. KIDS? No.

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes, but I might get irritated by someone else so demanding of attention.

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Yes. And this blog.

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Yes, and I wish I didn't. Sometimes it hurts people's feelings.

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Nope. Removed right after I finished 8th grade.

11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Sure, especially if I were on Amazing Race.

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I have several, but my number one choice (if I could only have one!) is Rice Krispies.

13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I don't have that many shoes with laces because you have to untie and tie them.

14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? In what way? I've been through a lot. But as far as muscles, no, not strong.

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Chocolate. But in Hawaii I used to love the local brand of Kona coffee Ice cream. Oh, and I really like orange sherbert.

16. SHOE SIZE? 9-9.5

17. RED OR PINK? Red.

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I'm not very self-disciplined.

19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Parents. They live in Colorado.

20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? I guess this was an email thing. You can do this on your blog if you want. Leave me a comment.

21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES YOU ARE WEARING? Olive green corduroy pants. Barefoot.

22. LAST THING YOU ATE? Strawberry/creamy PBJ.

23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The West Wing in the background and the whirr of the CPU.

24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? I don't know. Green, I guess. Forest green.

25. FAVORITE SMELL? Several. After the rain. The Dude, esp. after he showers. My mom's cooking.

26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Manager at The Department Store regarding my Workers' Comp claim.

27. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Sheesh, I notice so much about them I can't even start. I notice the clues that tell me how I ought to treat them. And if they're in a chatty/nice/kind mood.

28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I don't know TulipGirl, but I like her blog and I've heard good things about her from Heather. (And if this really were an email thing, would you have the courage to say if you really didn't like the person??)

29. FAVORITE DRINK? Milk. Skim. I also like tea. And I drink a lot of coffee, but I wouldn't choose it for 'my only drink if I could only ever drink one drink for the rest of my life.'

30. FAVORITE SPORT? None for playing. Olympic sports for watching, esp. the sports that aren't on TV all the rest of the time.

31. HAIR COLOR? Dark blond. Frosted highlights, done by my dad who's a hair-frosting master.

32. EYE COLOR? Greenish blue. They change, and The Dude says they are ocean colored.

33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes, and I am so thankful to be out of glasses!

34. FAVORITE FOOD? I am a big fan of meat. I really like meat. Meat and potatoes, and I make myself eat veggies.

35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? Happy ending. (Duh.)

36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Stepmom. Made me cry. Repeatedly.

37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Black with white horizontal stripes.

38. SUMMER OR WINTER? Both. I enjoy Spring and Fall the most, though.

39. HUGS OR KISSES? Both.

40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Sweet chocolateness.

41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Again with the email-type questions.

42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? I really don't know.

43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Agatha Christie's At Bertram's Hotel, 2 Corinthians, Genesis, Joshua, Job, Isaiah, and Jonah. And On the Banks of Plum Creek with the Dude. And The Silver Chair with The Dude and his sister.

44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I don't have one, but a nice smooth wood desk.

45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? A little bit of Seinfeld which was on ("Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum!" "Those Dominicans are rolling the crepes too tight!" "I hate The English Patient. Die, already! Die!") and OF COURSE recorded 24.

46. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Wind whispering through pine forest.

47. ROLLING STONE OR BEATLES? Really, really don't care. Also don't know which I would prefer, seeing as how I don't listen (never have) to either. Except for the obligatory quick listen through Sgt. Pepper's.

48. THE FURTHEST YOU BEEN FROM HOME? Hawaii.

49. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? You know how everybody has a role in the Body of Christ? I think I'm either a kidney or an intestine, because I have found myself helping people leach off their waste, think through their baggage, and get rid of the **** and keep the 'life lessons.' Plus I can cook. And dance a mean polka.

50. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? December, Colorado.

51. WHAT CONDITION ARE YOUR HANDS AND FEET IN? Natural. But my hands are picked-at. Bad habit that I hate.

52. WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE AUTHOR? Right now, Agatha Christie for the way she brings together fractured clues (which she herself fed us fractured-ly) and Laura Ingalls Wilder for her depiction of all the places she lived, and how much she loved those places.

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April 03, 2006

Reason #7,530 to be thankful today.

I was looking at my coffeepot's power cord and it's melted halfway through from a toaster oven mishap earlier this week.

The wires are totally exposed.

The whole thing is 3 inches below my paper towel roll (kindling).

And we're all ok. Nothing burned down, or even burned, besides the toast (it burned into black ash).

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All right, all right...

Bobbo tagged me, so here I go:

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Cashier/Inspector/Conveyor at a dry cleaner (My first job ever. It was really hot, all those steam presses)
2. Teacher (elementary for a little tiny while [Ick] and secondary for a longer while)
3. BEST team leader (Covenant's housekeeping department--I was a student supervisor), which means I was a 'poo poo cleanser.' Shout out to Pauline here.
4. College dining hall grunt

Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Little Women
2. Srictly Ballroom
3. Center Stage
4. Shakespeare in Love

Four places I have lived:
1. Colorado Springs, Colorado
2. Lookout Mountain, GA
3. Hilo, Hawaii, USA
4. Central Pennsylvania

Four TV shows I love to watch (as if I ever get tv time, these days):
1. Poirot (A&E, baby!)
2. Gilmore Girls
3. Amazing Race
4. Survivor (and I got to watch it this week with Sister and her husband! Woo hoo! I love the way he laughs at the ridiculousness of the silly characters on that show)

Four places I have been on vacation (if you think these are good answers, you should have seen Kim's):
1. Moab, Utah
2. Latvia
3. Center Hill (g'parents' farm in PA)
4. Kona, Hawaii

Four websites I visit daily
1. chattablogs
2. covblogs
3. I can't think of any more

Four of my favorite foods
1. chocolate
2. strawberries
3. watermelon (and here I am, living in the South, I can't wait till the watermelons come in!)
4. Mom's tacos at my parents' home on the back porch on a summer evening with friends and a Big Fat Coke (coca cola, you sicko)

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. dreamland (but after 20 min of tossing and turning I gave it up for the time being)
2. Colorado
3. Hawaii, to tie up loose ends and show The Dude my haunts
4. Center Hill, in the summer on a peaceful afternoon on the front porch watching the cars go by while I pretend to read

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April 01, 2006

today's department store follies

The funniest thing today (8-4, people! 8 hours of cashiering!) was a mom whose little toddler son wriggled out of his seat in the strollercart and started running while I rang up their shoes.

He kept running. She started chasing him, and she started yelling his name after about 50 feet.

They ran between racks, and I saw them go around the corner. Well, I saw her head bobbing behind the first row of racks. I lost sight of her bobblehead after about 100 feet of running.

I waited about a minute. Then I voided her purchase, because she hadn't paid.

After another minute, she came back with him in her arms. "You're a bad boy, embarrassed me!" she exclaimed. (And I guess that's what the boy learned, that it takes a sprint around the store to embarrass mama. It's not the disobedience that was bad. It was embarrassing mama. Sigh.)

I rang her up again. She gave me her charge card, and said, panting, "I finally caught him in the towel display."

I REALLY had to bite back the giggles, because that's halfway around the store. He led her quite a chase...nearly a whole lap!

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Oh, and bobbo, I told a Polish cutomer (with a name just about like CZWRYXBCZA) your joke. She laughed.

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