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February 27, 2007
Plastic Face, Spoiled Pets, Inane Interview Questions, and a Whole Lot More! All for the low low price of 3 easy payments of 22.99 plus shipping and handling! Call in the next 10 minutes and get a free spray bottle to make your purchase even more conven
Another morning trapped in the laundromat. I didn't have my book, I forgot to put my Bible back in my bag, and all the magazines in the car I've read too many times. What's a girl to do?
Watch the TV and think about the shows.
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I caught the last 45 minutes of the CBS early show. I was in and out of the laundromat at the beginning of my stay, so I missed out on the first few newsy blurbs they did. But here are some of my reflections:
--Why do TV interviewers always ask such lame questions? Think about it. I'm not going to give examples because that would limit your memories of this phenomenon, but it seems like they learn in journalist school to ask obvious questions. Examples? Ok. Here are just a few: "And then, when you were hiding in your classroom while the gunmen walked by, were you afraid?" or "And when you came back to the wreckage of your trailer after the tornado came through and destroyed everything for a two-mile-wide swath, were you devastated? How did you feel?" or "Why do you think you're friends with each other? Why has your friendship lasted so long, through all the changes in your lives?"
Yes, that was the gem this morning. "What is it about each other that makes you friends?" How is the interviewee supposed to answer that in a 1.5 minute segment?
--Why do we spend so much money on our pets? Why buy doggie treats that you can dip in doggie icing before you give it to your doggie? Why buy an automatic tennis ball thrower? Why buy a motion-sensitive dog bowl that will play a recording of your voice when your doggie puts his snout down to eat out of the dog bowl? (It'll be as useful as saying hello to your doggie over the phone. Ever tried that trick? The dog doesn't get it!) Why do we spend over a billion dollars a year on doggies and pet toys? Here's clue, it's either for the pet or for us...and the pet doesn't care.
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And then there were the 45 minutes of 700 I had to tolerate. Blessedly, it wasn't a whole hour. But 45 minutes was enough.
They begin with news reports, and their lead story was VP Cheney's attempted assassination yesterday in Afghanistan. (According to Pat, it was the militant irrational terrorists that made the attempt. Love the adjectives, Pat. Good choice.)
Soon after their lead story (I was folding tee shirts, so I didn't write down exactly what order the stories came in) came a story about a Muslim in Tulsa who wrote a letter to the editor of Tulsa's local paper which spoke out against American mosques funding the Middle East terrorists. (At this point I thought, Oh good, a story about an American Muslim who's not a crazy stereotypical terrorist. But, no. I made that conclusion waaaaay too soon.) After his letter was printed, he was nearly assaulted the next time he went to worship at his mosque. One witness described the account similar to the account the main guy gave, but that witness preferred to remain anonymous. Other people who were willing to speak on camera told the CBN crews that the main guy was not being honest. (There was a little discrepancy there, as you can see, but the emphasis and subtext were clear. It's obvious who was telling the truth! Obvious!) The main guy and CBN's analyst both emphasized the fact that the Tulsa imams were angered by the letter to the editor and its content: that American mosques are funding Middle East terrorists.
(Ok, I thought, a bit of a different take on the news...a story about fractures and differences in an religious ethnic group that we Americans tend to believe are one monolithic religion...maybe a story that points out that not all Muslims are terrorists...and so on.) If they had left the story as it was, there could have been hope. But then [cue Jaws music] Pat decided to commentate. He spun the whole news report by saying "See? We do have reason to be worried. Muslims in America are just as dangerous, and even more militant, than Muslims in their home country! They are the enemy!"* Oh, Pat. (That really made me steam. Why did he have to speak up and spin the news report that way?? Grrr.)
And after the Oscars and seeing all the wonderful, brilliant actors who have also put a huge amount of effort into maintaining wrinkle-free skin (did you notice Peter O'Toole and Clint Eastwood? And while I'm on the subject, has anyone looked at Regis's face lately? They all look plastic, like a male Barbie, with too-tight skin. There's a look they get that yells "plastic surgery!"), I noticed Pat's got that ageless, plastic-y, too-tight look going. I wonder how old he is. Is he one of those characters on TV news programs that everyone just smiles at, pats on the head, and goes on with the real work after he passes by? Because I have to say, if it weren't for his non sequiturs, his commentaries, and his interpretive, random remarks, 700 would not be that bad.
It's just too bad.
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* Pat's quote is a paraphrase...but I guarantee you that he said the words "They are the enemy" in his little speechy bit there. Oh, Pat.
What's the Worldview? | By The Newest Worker | 11:51 AM
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