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September 09, 2006
Auto Flusher
I hate auto flushing toilets.
When I was little, I was afraid of the loud-flushing public toilets. I think I was afraid I'd get sucked in, but you know how irrational fears are: there's no logic. It could just as well have been that I was afraid of the dragon-like roar that resonated in the cement-block emptiness that was the public restroom, but who knows? I was a fraidy little kid.
I had one measure of control: I could flush when I was facing the toilet, thereby keeping the object of fear directly in my line of vision. I'd huddle against the door, watching the beast as it roared and sucked at the water in the toilet. Finally the noise subsided, and I'd calmly open the door and leave the stall.
But now (shudder) some genius has invented self-flushing toilets. They sneak up on you from behind (no pun intended) and growl while they threaten to attack you just when you are most vulnerable. I hate them. The worst one I've ever encountered was in the Pennsylvania Welcome Center, on I-70, just east of Wheeling, West Virginia. Somehow the ladies' room there is designed to be the perfect resonating chamber and the commodes are particularly fierce, angrily announcing that they will attack--or at least frighten--you.
I hate auto-flushers. Hate them.
| By The Newest Worker | 05:08 PM
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