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June 18, 2006
Questions I'm Dying to Ask
"Why are you buying such ugly jewelry? To go with the ugly blouse/skirt/whatever?"
"Do you realize this 40 dollar blouse will be out of style in 6 months? And in 5 years, we'll be watching VH1's "I love 2006" and laughing at this very blouse? You look like you're a Ginger's nasty little sister from Gilligan's Isle."
"Oh, are you pregnant?" (That's a very dangerous question. I remember once I was having coffee with Mike and a stranger on the street asked me when I was due. I looked at him coldly and I told him 'You know, you only make that mistake once--the first time. Are you saying I'm fat? You should never imply that a woman's pregnant unless she tells you or if you see a child emerging from her.')
"Can't you read?"
"Don't you read? We posted signs for you."
"Don't you read the fine print?"
"You think other stores don't post misleading signs?"
"What do you thing The Department Store wants besides your money and more of your money tomorrow? You think The Department Store cares about you as a person?"
"Why are you shopping with a little child long after his lunchtime/naptime/ lunchtime and naptime/shop-till-you-drop time?"
"Why are you treating your child like she's a grownup? She's a child. Let her act like a child."
"Do you realize that this tiny thong costs $20?"
Stories from Behind the Counter | By The Newest Worker | 12:05 AM
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Comments
"Why are you buying such ugly jewelry? To go with the ugly blouse/skirt/whatever?"
Because I have no taste. I am shopping at The Department Store because I don't have enough money to shop at The Other Department Store where they have personal assistants in every department to help me with those things.
"Do you realize this 40 dollar blouse will be out of style in 6 months? And in 5 years, we'll be watching VH1's "I love 2006" and laughing at this very blouse? You look like you're a Ginger's nasty little sister from Gilligan's Isle."
But, its a $40 dollar blouse doesn't real fashion cost real money?
"Can't you read?"
Yes, but I'm really slow.
"Don't you read? We posted signs for you."
No, because my walking speed and the rate at which I want to consume and be pleased is about 10 times faster than my reading speed.
"Don't you read the fine print?"
No, because its fine print.
"You think other stores don't post misleading signs?"
I don't care what other stores do, until I am in them, when I am there I will complain about the same exact thing, but I won't realize this because of the what I said before (I'm slow, I just want to consume, etc.).
"What do you thing The Department Store wants besides your money and more of your money tomorrow? You think The Department Store cares about you as a person?"
But they must care about me as a person because I need to feel loved by something and I am pouring my *hard-earned* money into this place.
"Why are you shopping with a little child long after his lunchtime/naptime/ lunchtime and naptime/shop-till-you-drop time?"
Because the child is a person and needs to adapt to different things and situation. Life's a bitch and they might as well learn that now and cope.
"Why are you treating your child like she's a grownup? She's a child. Let her act like a child."
Because I act like a child routinely and I don't really know the difference.
"Do you realize that this tiny thong costs $20?"
But my boyfriend really likes it -- its his money that I am buying it with. Money can buy me love, right?
Posted by: Carrie at June 19, 2006 09:35 AM