Colorado Mountain Passes

Now, she and I haven’t had a conversation for years; we haven’t even seen each other for years, since we were both students at college! (We were both BEST team leaders in Mills. Working with Pauline and Karen, the coolest BEST ladies around!) The only basis Elissa had for saying that was reading what I’ve posted here.

It made me think, you know? I do love being married, but I am certain that there’s more to me than just being 'eclipsed by' Husband. There’s still my mind, or my talent, or something. But, think about it again. What he is to me is not just a roommate or just a bed-buddy. He is my husband. My name changed. I changed from single girl to married woman. A lot of my status changed: I don’t have my own checking account anymore, so I can’t just go buy something on the spur of the moment. We own a lot of stuff together (wedding gifts) and even the separate stuff has started to feel more like our stuff, now that it’s melded in one apartment. And Josiah pointed out that I can't even be depressed on my own time anymore. It bothers Husband when he's around and distracts me from my responsibilities when he's not around.

So in a way I have been eclipsed, and I guess the best way to summarize it is a line from the pastor’s charge at our wedding: it’s Husband’s job to mimic Christ and to die for me, literally if necessary, but dying-to-self for my sake in every way; meanwhile, it’s my job to mimic the church and live for him. And, you know, there’s nothing that fills me with more joy than to do something that serves him; cooking dinner or doing laundry or ironing shirts or whatever else I can think of. It just makes it even better when I manage to do my duty with joy and happiness; like there’s nothing I’d rather do than to serve him and make his life easier.

He was telling me last night that he enjoys coming home. It's like a haven for him: he can come home and kick his shoes off (directly into the closet of course) sit down to vegg in front of the TV or at his desk, and he doesn't have to cook dinner, or fold laundry, or iron, or anything. It's already done. You know how great that was for me to hear that? I'm useful to him, and as he is my number-one friend, I love to do what makes him happy. Aaaaah, marriage.

I love husband. Thanks for the inspiration for this essay, Elissa.